DISCLAIMER: This posting is about an aspect of spirituality that resonates with me personally. I am not promoting any belief per se, not encouraging subscription to what is shared. This is not representing any organized religion either, so if you are looking for something that speaks to your religion, I don’t know that this will resonate with you. If however, you are spirit and are aware that you are, then maybe you’ll find resonance with this. I did and this is simply an account of my own experience.
I stumbled on Ho’oponopono at a time that my heart was so broken I thought I’d die, literally. The ache I carried with me daily was so intense, I have no recollection of ever feeling this broken before, and nothing I did eased it. There were days where tears would freely rolled down my face and it’ll take me a moment to realize what was happening, I couldn’t stop it, it was embarrassing.
I intensified the variety of therapeutic practices I have been observing – meditation, vibrational energy therapy, positive thoughts, and forgiveness as I understood it, prayer, you name it, I did it. NOTHING WORKED and the frustration mounted, worse still, I couldn’t remove myself from the daily trigger.
Countless nights, I would cry myself to sleep and pray that if there was source energy out there, that they send me the right tools to work through this or allow me out of this realm because nothing I have tried was working and I was getting tired by the day. Waking up every morning was a disappointment because it meant living through it all, again. I was not going to harm myself in anyway but I was not opposed to the thought of going to sleep and simply transitioning, because it felt like ANYTHING was better than that level of brokenness, disappointment and pain. I felt lost.
I was also in the middle a career re-evaluation/redirection. I was considering taking a few courses that would enrich my work experience and help with the redirection. Then an offer came into my inbox one morning; hugely discounted certification training for Ho’oponopono. One of the career paths I was looking into pursuing was as a motivational story telling. So somehow, the idea of certification in Ho’oponopono sounded like it might be useful, so I signed up. Plus I figured, having one extra thing to keep me busy would occupy my mind and reduce time spent on my misery.
Now, the interesting thing about it was that I had actually read about Ho’oponopono before, while researching for something totally unrelated. And the account of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len’s work with the mental hospital in Hawaii was something that intrigued me at the time even though I must admit I thought it did sound a wee bit weird and unreal; I did acknowledge that it probably did because I didn’t know the details of that story. I left it at that.
The course was advertised as possible to complete in 3 months minimum or 6 months maximum so I signed up. In a Covid 19 lock in and with time on my hands, I worked at it every free waking hour, and because I suffer from insomnia, I worked right through the night as well, and I was done in just three weeks. It was too soon, so I was not sure I would be allowed to sign for and take the test but I tried anyway and I was let in. I took the test. AND PASSED.
It wasn’t until I was looking at my certificate while cleaning (cleaning is a resolution technique I learn from the course) that it occurred to me that the foreboding pain and brokenness I had been carrying with me for the past 5 months was totally gone. I didn’t notice at what point it left but it was gone. The situation that created that feeling of hopelessness has not been resolved; in fact it is still very much on top of my resolution list today. It was IMPOSSIBLE to fix it in that short a time anyway. So, nothing else had changed except the pain and brokenness was no longer there. Better still, I found myself working with better clarity and a sense of direction towards the finding a resolution without having to carry that feeling of brokenness and loss, and my only explanation to why, is Ho’oponopono.
So what is Ho’oponopono? As I understand it, Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, but unlike what we understand forgiveness to be (involving the forgiver and the forgiven), the focus is on the self alone. The practice takes focus completely away from anyone but the one practicing the Ho’oponopono; the one initiating the act of forgiveness. What that simply means is that you step in the gab and take ALL responsibility of the situation requiring forgiveness and reconciliation even if YOU ARE NOT the offender in said situation. It requires a cleaning technique that is aimed at healing the pyche, bringing about restoration for all involved.
None of it made sense to me initially; every case of offense should involve a defence and a verdict, which is how it works. Whoever heard of a hearing and a resolution without a case? It just didn’t add up…but it does…in my core, I get it now, I have not yet found the right words to explain it the way it registers in my spirit, but I’m working on it and maybe someday, I will have the words to explain it in a very basic way that won’t come across as woo woo, because it really isn’t, once you get it.
That said, the only thing that came close to explaining it for me, is in my own understanding of the human story as I have experienced it; that there really is no such thing as opposites attract. There is always a self-reflection of ourselves that we find in others that brings us together, but that is not opposite.
We, humans, are a complex mass of individuality. However, we possess the insatiable need to connect with each other. For the most part, we look at a reflection of ourselves in others and when we find one that is a strong enough mirror of us, we connect. We normally look for the positive aspects of ourselves in others, initially. We are however complex enough, that only with time will we expose the complexity of traits we hold, as we see them revealed in who we interact with.
When we find a trait in others that we find particularly offensive, we need to look within and chances are it is mirrored from our subconscious, which is the reason why we have an emotional reaction to it, because it is familiar to our psyche. That was how I was able to explain Ho’oponopono to myself. Taking responsibility of someone else’s offense towards you is done by recognizing that you see in him, that which you hate in yourself and you look within and heal that part of you so that his offense ceases to bother you any longer.
And so as Ho’oponopono requires, that you fix stuff – hurt, pain, brokenness, disappointment, forgiveness, grudge, revenge, retribution, payback – all of it, FROM WITHIN, by cleaning and returning to zero. And that fixing it; the cleaning and returning to zero that I practiced while taking the course is the only explanation to how I rid myself of the brokenness that was becoming me.
©Naan Pocen 2020
If you are curious about Ho’oponopono, I’ll recommend the book, Zero Limit co-written by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. I have a copy of it and it explains Ho’oponopono with better clarity than anything else I have found thus far.
(Neither Dr. Joe Vitale nor Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len are endorsing this writing, nor are they even aware that I am recommending their book).
P.S. I found a book that does a great job of explaining Ho’oponopono in a way I think most people will understand. I only found it two days ago and have read it. It is a book by Paul Jackson and it is called HO’OPONOPONO SECRETS: Four Phrases to Change the World One Love to Bind Them
Please note that this is not an endorsement. The author has no knowledge of this blog.